I wonder what it’s like on the other side of me…
Self-awareness is not something that I think I’m that bad at. And I don’t mean to brag about that. If something has happened, I generally look at myself first, (my actions, words, ignorance) before I think of someone else being at fault. But I still feel like it’s something that I could work on – even the most aware person has habits or natural tendencies that they can’t even see. I want to know those things. Because you don’t know until you know, ya know?
All of this comes up because we started a new series at my church about relationships – it’s called, The Other Side of Me. And this first week, the pastor gave us an assignment. He said to ask a few people in your life, ones that you trust and that will be honest, this question: “What’s it like to be on the other side of me?”
(Check it out here: www.crosspoint.tv)
He said that we couldn’t respond. We couldn’t be defensive.
So, I prayed about it. I prepared myself to hear anything, even asked for “unfavorable or affirming” feedback. And in a weird way, I wanted to hear the unfavorable. Not because I wanted to feel bad about myself – I’m not a masochist, but I want to know if I’m doing something that’s causing someone else pain or hurt or even just annoyance.
So, I sent the question to a few people.
Some of the feedback:
- You don’t know a stranger
- You wear your heart on your sleeve.
- My heart has been broken by some of the decisions that you’ve made
- You are making an effort to be more positive and see more joy in life
- You upset me when you backed out last minute to spend time with someone else.
- I’ve felt your joy and worth has been way too dependent on the words and actions of others
- You love hard
- You are always there when I need sound advice
- The distance and hurt from you is deeper than almost anyone else.
- You beat yourself up more than needed
- You give the glory to God
- Loyal and loving who gives all you can
- You are the type of friend anyone would be blessed to have in their life.
- You love big and hard.
- I’ve watched you push people away because they didn’t give you what you thought you needed.
- You’re a strong type A person but you are also weak and vulnerable.
- You have the biggest heart for people, even total strangers
- You put too much stress on yourself
- It’s been hurtful to be on the other side of your pride.
- I’m inspired by you.
- You motivate me to do things that are bigger than what my tiny comfort zone would allow
- You are one of the bravest people I know
- I’ve watched you respond to His commands in (terrified) obedience
- You wear your feelings on your sleeve sometimes but it’s because you care so much about everyone
- You can look a little harshly on others