about me,  Life in Nashville,  random,  starting over

Two years later

I’m approaching the year anniversary of living in Nashville and I’m becoming very…nostalgic? …sentimental? …thoughtful? I’m not sure what adjective to use but I’m definitely thinking a lot about it. TimeHop and Facebook historys help me relive some of the memories of how I got here, which started two years ago.

Losing my job

On the last day

Two years ago this week, I was told that my job – the job that I loved and was really good at, was going to be eliminated. I could keep that job, IF I uprooted my life and moved to a different city. I didn’t follow it. One reason was, I didn’t want to move. But another, and probably the one that weighed the most, was that I could not remain in that job and work in the same office as the management that I had. I loved my job but I didn’t love the group that I was a part of. My manager was a micro-manager, who didn’t lead, who made it clear that his religious beliefs affected his management abilities (i.e. there were issues with women in the workplace).

I was miserable and there was no end in sight (of his reign). THEN, when I was still on the fence of deciding, he had the audacity to have a conversation with me about it all. He told me that he had “concerns” about me moving over. He would need me to “play along.”

That made up my mind right then.

Changing jobs

A year ago this week, I accepted the offer for my current job. I had been in a job that I just didn’t seem to fit. My goals and desires weren’t lining up with theirs. But there weren’t many options around. I felt stuck. And again, found myself miserable. I decided to look outside my comfy bubble. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d even be considered for this job. I had started to feel that maybe I didn’t even know what I was doing. That I had just been lucky a few times and that PR wasn’t really for me.

But, the next thing I knew, I was flying over for an interview. Then I was coming to look for a home. Then I was moving.

It’s so interesting to be here; to be on the other side and see how it all turned out. I can’t complain, life is good.

But if I’m honest, some days aren’t amazing. They aren’t bad, don’t get me wrong. I’m FAR from miserable. But it’s not easy being on an island alone. It’s not easy to not have your best friends nearby. It’s super hard to plan around five people’s schedules (mine, theirs and their spouses’) to get them here or me there. Normally, this time of year I get to take my niece and nephew school clothes shopping. I don’t get to do that.

Every day I look around my surroundings, I know it’s all because of one person’s decision. I’m here because someone decided to change several lives for, “span of control.” I don’t want it to sound like I am sad living here. Honestly, this post isn’t supposed to make a lot of sense. I miss my home a lot. But I doubt I ever live there again. I love it here too. But I miss my comfort zone. And I still am angry at her for making that decision, for changing my life without respect.

It’s just been a really awesome and weird time. Overall, I am grateful it’s been good. I’m still waiting for this feeling of being on a really long trip to be over. I still think there’s an expiration date to this and I’ll be dragged back home.

Y’all. I LIVE in Nashville.

 

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